Road rage

License and registration? Check.
Water? Check.
Fluids? check.
Side mirrors? Check.
Locks? Check.
Key in ignition. Break down, clutch down. Release hand break. Twist key one, then two.
Engine starts, good.

Wait. Stalling... stalling... stalling... gone.

WTF. No gas. Great.

MWTF. No money in wallet for gas. Faaaail.

Magsaysay Avenue

This is how I walk at night. I walk these streets between 10PM to 2AM, most of the time after climbing at Tandang Sora, and several times when I was still working at Libis three years ago, I'd get lucky when the office shuttle decided to pass by Katipunan Avenue instead of EDSA. I love this facet of the campus. Just when the streets are quiet from the hustle and bustle of students, teachers, residents and people passing through, this is when the roads become truly themselves… even during their sleep. The orange-tinted lamp posts illuminate every strong facet of the road, and at the same time, hide their secrets with their ominous shadows. It's thrilling to walk the streets knowing you're alone and not a soul in sight. But somehow, ironically, I know I'm safe. As long as I stay on the path, never swaying, I'm on safe grounds. I feel like the girl following the yellow-bricked road, which is actually what it looks like with the amber lights reflecting the rough pavement. There’s no place like home.

It's also my way of zen, so to speak, and walking this road in the middle of the night gives me a moment of peace that seldom comes. It's my in-between, the transition from the hectic fast-paced on-goings during the day to the mellow slow-moving repose of the night. I'll miss it when the time comes that I need to find another route to go through when the C-5 is finally finished, or (here's to hoping) when I can finally drive my own car (but I still have a long way to go compared to the C-5 road). But I know it's something that I can get back to again and again when I need to find that peace along Magsaysay Avenue. There’s no stopping me from following that yellow-bricked road.

Numb, probably.

I bought a 2G Memory Stick Micro (M2) worth 900 bucks for my phone last Friday for one main reason: to be able to take pictures of the bouldering competition at MOA last weekend (Purisho Extreme '09). I was able to use it on the first day starting that morning. but come afternoon, after taking fifty shots, give or take, the card got corrupted. I couldn't access it. All my old and new pictures gone. At that point, I'm just shocked. Now, I'm actually trying my best to find my anger, frustration, disappointment... but I think I lost it. There's nothing. Nothing at all.

I was able to have it replaced last Monday, without any hope of recovering even one photo.

Still, no anger, frustration, nor disappointment. Owell, I'm off again to bang my head on the wall.

Phengk

Aylavit. I seldom wear this kind of pink. This one shouts "Pe-heenk!" like a nymphomaniac faggot. Suits me so much.

The Seattle's Best in my hand is for effect.

(Was watching a bouldering competition at MOA last March 7)

In a crux

Change is something that’s inevitable. Especially when you’ve been gone a long time from the one you love, coming back is hard because you don’t know what to expect. Will it still be the same? Will it still feel the same? You’re lucky when you come back and still see the same things that you usually did as before. The familiarity of it aches inside you and it’s like you never left at all. It’s perfect. It’s heaven. It’s like coming home.

But change is inevitable. I’ve come back more than a month ago to the one I love dearly and diffidently. The time in between seems like ages last I remember before going on hiatus. But now I’ve decided to come back again and revive that love I painstakingly fell for several years ago. It’s far from perfect, it’s hotter than hell, but it’s still home. Is it still the same? No. Do I feel the same after coming back? Yes. But it will be hard work, harder than before. My love never truly died, it just stagnated in one corner of my being and survived. Coming back revived it like I was falling for the first time… all over again. Now the challenge is winning back the affections I lost. And the ultimate question will be: Would it still be worth it?

Like they say, if you love someone or something, you’ll fight for that love. But if that someone or something doesn’t love you back (or not anymore), will you still keep doing so?

Magda-drive ako hanggang buwan...

No turning back. Already applied for driving lessons today and there's no turning back. Technically, I have 2 months from my initial payment to comply, but I won't take back that 3K. Besides, I already bought the manual, so I can't give it back. Now I've yet to pay the balance until I get my student's license and begin.


Total of 10 hours worth of lessons to consume. Now to schedule where to put those 10 hours in my already tightening schedule. I have the next two weeks to learn, and no more beyond that. But I hope to God I learn. Period. Sana makatulong na marunong akong mag-drive ng scooter... kailangan bang magbalanse sa kotse? Woot.

A dimmer kaleidoscope

It's so sad, and somehow unnerving, when I found out that one of the influential music artists' light has gone out too soon. I just sat there stunned, after Flori told me the news that Francis M. has died today. I couldn't help but backtrack to my elem days when his songs were still dominating everybody's radio. I'm not an avid fan, I have to admit, but play Cold Summer Nights, Mga Kababayan Ko, and, most especially, Kaleidoscope World, I could easily sing along with those songs. If I were to play the ultimate playlist of my life, Francis M.'s popular creations will be one of those on repeat. His music is a part of my life, as much as it is in my generation's history. I am proud to say I was there when the Master Rapper was weaving his magic.

Shucks. Why do the good guys have to go, and the bad guys stay behind? Hirap talagang patayin ang masamang damo.

Hindi kakasa sa Grade 5

Me: Okay, review tayo ha. Magbigay ka nga sakin ng isang pangungusap na gumagamit ng pang-uring pasukdol?

Grade 5: Napakatanda ng aking guro. Ubod ng tanda ng aking guro. Saksakan ng--

Me: Okay. Tama na. Next.

Pati ba naman ang tinuturuan kong bata, aasarin pa 'kong matanda. Lintik 'yan.

Hating Gabi

Ang tagal narin akong nakatitig sa computer screen, di ko na namalayan ang oras. Kaya naisipan kong maglakad-lakad muna sa labas ng bahay at magpahangin. Buti nalang malamig yung hangin, di gaanong mainit ngayon, pero shet. Tahimik. Wala nang katao-tao sa kalye, yung aso lang ng kapit-bahay ang nakita kong tanging buhay sa paligid. Owell, lakad muna.

Huy! Ano yun? Ah, wala lang pala. Gumalaw lang yung halaman dahil sa hangin. Lakad, lakad...

Shet. May nakatayo dun sa gate... ay hindi, nakatabing lang na kariton. Lakad, lakad...

Holy--may nakatayo dun... lintek, labada pala. May tao ba sa likod ko? Wala. Hokay. Lakad, lakad...

Bakit ang raming halamanan sa street namin? Ngayon ko lang napansin ah...

Dulo na ko ng kalye, tanaw ang Commonwealth. Rami pa sasakyan naririnig ko yung makina nila umaarangkada...

Holy effing word. Bakit namatay yung lightpost? Oh no it's dark mommy. Hokay time to gow...

Tokwa. Kala ko makakapag-relax ako sa break ko, napraning lang ako dahil sa gabi. Pagbalik ko nakasalubong ko yung mga borders ng kapitbahay. I'm not alone anymore yesh. Pero miss ko ito, kahit maliwanag na yung ilaw ng poste, kahit papaano nakikita ko parin yung mga stars. Tagal ko naring di nagagawang tumigil lang at tumingala, at pahintuin ang oras kahit isang saglit lang. Wow, backtrack to college days. Nung high school wala akong pakialam, paano lagi akong nakalutang. Nung college ko lang na-appreciate ang universe. Deep. Daw. Right.

Tama na ang pagkukunwari, balik trabaho ulit.

Linggo ng umaga

Di ko kailangang gumising ngayong umaga, dahil mulat na ko kagabi pa. Lintik na hika ito, hindi ako pinatulog. Kaya 7AM palang, tumutungga na ko ng kape at humihigop ng Lucky Me Bulalo flavored mami. Di pa nakuntento, binuksan ko muna yung TV.

Fact: Don't you know that female caribous found in North America travel at least 700 kilometers during their pregnancy and smack right in the middle of winter just to get to their feeding grounds where they will also give birth to their youngs?

Buti nalang di ako caribou.

And that their migration (both cows and bulls) during the summer season wholly depends on the direction of the wind.

Thanks, Discovery Channel. But no thanks din, hinihika parin ako. Sinubukan kong magdilig ng mga halaman ni Ermats (baka siya naman ang atakihin sa gulat kung malaman niya). It's calming, at first. Pero di parin naalis hika ko, though it was distracting to say the least.

Kaya nagdesisyon akong magbukas ng computer at magsulat sa blog. Aba! Akalain mo ba namang humupa ng kaunti at nakakahinga narin ako ng malalim. Blag lang pala katapat. Ayus. Kaya dito ko muna tatapusin ito. Nood pa ko ng Discovery.

Pero napaisip rin ako... isa ba itong kahindik-hindik na senyales sa mga maaaring mangyari ngayong buwan ng Marso? Sa susunod na kabanata...