Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hello there

I just remembered a dream I had, there's this burning spot in the night sky that suddenly shot out like a shooting star. I didn't have the chance to make a wish while it was shooting off, even when I had enough time to do so.

My intro sucks after not posting for a long while :D

If I waited for several more weeks, I'm going to make this a one year anniversary of no posts in my blog. I'm having second thoughts if I should continue this shinanigan, but I don't want to make a trend of having to delete my blog to make a new one.

A lot has happened in the past year. In summary, I grew a year older, lost a relative, friends got married left and right, added more responsibilities in my plate, and I have a new hair. That's not much, isn't it? Obviously I've snipped out several other things, not that they're not important, just not worth posting... or otherwise, I've forgotten about them.

I'll just make a new chapter at the last quarter of this year. I'll try to keep up. For now, that's it.

Monday, November 9, 2009

A little prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
I got this prayer from two of my best friends in different occasions: one when I was in need of a friend, another when I was the one needed. Some things in life we have to accept and make do with what was laid in front of us rather than complain what should be. I can say I am guilty of the latter, in more moments than one. I think it's part of human nature, to complain a lot. There wouldn't be conflicts to discuss about, issues to ponder, problems to solve... it makes humans more interesting that way. I'd like to think this path, whatever this path is, is laid out to me for reasons I still don't know, yet. Events in my life have lead to this. Though this is not yet finished.

I'm being melodramatic. It's just that I've gotten into a venture that is way past due and it's something that we all want to flourish. It's something I started with my friends, with myself, and something I don't want to finish, because finishing it would end it and businesses aren't good that way. Yep, it's a business venture. I finally got something that I could change, and I can partly say have a control of. I just wish, hope and pray it will be successful as we all want it to be.

Then there's another situation I was able to, or slowly but surely, let go of. It's a hopeless scenario anyway, hindered by distance, stature, and scant opportunity. I feel that I am finally over that. Acceptance is slowly sinking in and taking its root. Looking back at it will only remind me of my foolishness. I won't go into details, it's too boring even for my taste.

I won't complain now. Or at least I'll try not to. I'll just do what I can with what's given to me. Time, resources, opportunities lie awake and waiting. I'll have to be vigilant in trying not to waste those. I have my moments of weakness, but I will persevere. What's life for?

Sunday, October 18, 2009


I had this dream. Not that type of dream where we have peace on earth and all people are equal kind of shit. I really had a dream last night. It felt so real, but the only thing that I could remember in that dream was him blabbering like an idiot... and this fleeting moment when he held my hand. It was freakin' warm. And I remembered, I tried to stop time just so I could savor that moment. I didn't know why he held my hand in the first place, but the point is he did. That's the first time I ever dreamt of him.

Then the next day, my schedule went chaotic. Or rather, was sucked into the void. I had to wait for nothing. But at least I get to use it to attend to other matters. But still, things didn't go as I wanted to. Things didn't go as I DREAMT it would. So, I'm stuck with that dream.

Yep. As the title says, this is all blah. It's the middle of October and I have nothing sensible to say. Goes to show the progress of my life. On with the show...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Post-Ondoy Onslaught

It's been two days since last Saturday's torrential downpour. Now the devastation is apparent as the sun beats down the aftermath. Knee-deep in mud, destroyed properties, washed out homes, taken lives...

I was at home at that time, safe and comfortable along with my family, unaware that the rain was currently tearing down other homes much like mine with families also inside them. Not safe, far from comfort. We were unaware of the gravity of the situation until we saw the news yesterday (after finally gaining connection through cable and internet), the ruined houses, overturned vehicles, destroyed structures. It was all surreal and shocking because what we experienced during the typhoon was nothing to what we were seeing on TV. It was a nightmare come true.

Now, the pull is far greater than before. The pull to help out others who are still in need. Right now, I feel so helpless, work preventing me from doing something about it. As of the moment, the only help I could think of is reposting announcements, emergency hotlines and updates through Facebook. I've also been trying to keep in touch with friends and asking for their situation through text messages, whom I haven't heard news from since last Saturday. Later, I plan to pass by our climbing gym to give out my share in the donations for those who'll need food.

I just hope it still won't be too late to help come weekend. And for the supposed incoming monsoon this Thursday, I hope it's not as worse as Ondoy. God knows a lot of people have already suffered enough.

Monday, September 14, 2009


While my mind has been going overload recently (professionally, emotionally, ecumenically...), I thought maybe listening to a sad, heart-wrenchingly depressing song over and over again for the last two hours will calm it down. Hm.

Thanks to Flori, I get to listen to this song again. This makes me feel cheesy, sad, happy... and sleepy right now. LOL

Put Your Arms Around Me

Are you ready maybe are you willing to run
Are you ready to let yourself drown
Are you holding your breath
Are you ready or not
Are you ready maybe do you long to confess
Do you feel that you're already numb
Are you sure of yourself
Would you lie if you're not
You tire me out don't want to let that happen
A secret scream so loud why did you let that happen

So put your arms around me
You let me believe that you were someone else
Cause only time can take you
So let me believe that I am someone else

Maybe are you ready to break
Do you think that I push you too far
Would you open yourself
Are you reckless or not
You tire me out don't want to let that happen
A secret scream so loud why did you let that happen

So put your arms around me
So put your arms around me
Make me believe
Take me, take me somewhere, somewhere
Let me believe
Cause only time can take you so


Now currently out of the storm cloud. Had some mild bursts this morning, but I was put to right again. And my mood lifted a bit after watching the Cheer Dance Competition yesterday afternoon. The team I was vying for didn't grab first place, but I hope this one will be a lesson learned for them: don't leave your feet from the ground once you've experienced reaching the stars. A lesson on humility. This lesson is specifically targeted to a person I know so well.

But I think it's part of his DNA that's irrevocably there. It runs in the blood, unfortunately. Too bad we're also related.

Last week has been explosively mind-curdling. In tagalog: "mainit ang ulo." I have no idea where I got it, if there's a virus spreading or something. Most people I know had the S for the past week as well. Was it the constant rain? Usually this just makes me sleepy. I just hope that phase is done and over with. I've got a lot going on my plate at work so I might as well concentrate on that all the more this coming weeks. By God, for all I know September's over already, but I really don't want to. Except that if it doesn't end, then my piggy bank won't be fed soon. AND I NEED IT FED constantly.

It's the BER, it's the BER! My usual childish excitement is gone when the Ber season comes, because I'm not the receiving end of gifts anymore (but I get lucky at times, hehe). It is now the other way around. But I always have fun buying gifts, as long as I have enough money in my pocketses. Haha!


S - is for "sumpong"

Saturday, September 12, 2009


This is a truly fucked up world.

When you have friends who aren't really your friends.
Family you can't get rid of.
And a situation you cannot escape.

Truly fucked up.

Sucks to be me, right? Now I'm going to rant how nobody understands me. That they can't possibly know my situation right now because they are not in my shoes. I'm high and mighty that it's imperative I stay in my gleaming pedestal and I can't possibly be cut off from this height because this is where I belong. You're nothing, I'm important. I'm hurt, you're not. I'm loved, you're alone and rotting in your putrid solitary existence. I'm right, everybody else is wrong. I'm forgiving, and you're a sinner. I'm not you, and you're definitely not me.

So fuck off and don't talk to me like you matter because there will come a day when you'll be laughing your ass off as you look down on me as I grovel in my shitty existence.