Monday, August 31, 2009

In 5, 4, 3, 2....

Eight months down, four months to go…. And why am I counting in the first place? I have no idea. Just feel like counting. Counting makes the time pass too quickly or too slowly, and it’s a total waste of effort. It’s like chewing bubble gum. I don’t want this to be a sign of post-traumatic stress for the incoming two-seven in five days. It shouldn’t matter because I already felt the number the moment 2009 started.

Anyway, it’s the last day of the month of August. Our dance workshop is already coming to a close, we will have our last two sessions for the Poppin’ class this week and I’m already missing it. Jazz Funk already finished last week, but I hope they’ll still offer classes on Saturdays. Wish there will be another workshop next month. I need a distraction, aside from work. It’s still not enough. Actually, I need something… something to keep me going… ah, I need vitamins. Naubusan na ko last week. More energy, mas happy :P

Or maybe, I need to get back to the things I’ve left behind. I already went back to climbing. Sketching perhaps? Writing again. Making up half-baked stories that will go nowhere. I wonder where my old ones went to… I just need something to get me going. I’ll still keep on taking hiphop lessons, and maybe enroll in a jazz dance class, who knows? I just NEED something.

Ergo, I made a deal with myself and with Flori (if not with the Devil, lol) sealing it with an unseen drug-induced iced tea: I have until September 5, 2009 at 10:40 in the evening (Manila time) to stop this nonsense I’m going through. To dispel this unknown restlessness. To let go of things that has kept me from taking the next step. To just be. I have drawn a line. A boundary. A limit. I’m only human after all. And my EQ level’s not as spectacular as anyone might think.

So there, Fate. Your turn to draw your cards. Got nothing else in me, but the aces. Only the aces.



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